Twisting new lies.

Does any one person truly ever know another?  I’m beginning to question that more and more these days as I find that some are twisting new lies about people. I hear crazy talk and I’m really wondering how that happens.

But that isn’t todays topic!

Thats a first world problem right there..

As I lay in bed and contemplate the many events of the past year, I really can't help but want to say a big Fcuk You out loud.

&$@? %#¥

There.

You know because none really compare to anything too significant although at the time shit went down, they seemed a lot better or worse than it seemed at the time.

Or was it..? Let's recap.

Last January/February I got removed from what was at the time my best friends wedding. Removed, actually removed on Facebook was the actual, oh so.. I'm not in your wedding anymore I guess? That hit me hard and still burns a hole inside me, that fire is still lit and man would I just love to sock the shit out of that fucking bitch.

Okay, it was bad at the time but believe me when I say, overtime that hurt and pain gets deeper and deeper. See, I'm bitter.

Once again my on again off again relationship failed, I briefly dated a friends fiancée cousin, 3x fast and that was.. was done quick but a decent distraction.

I graduated school! Hooray. What a road that was.

I can't even recap shit right now.

I went away to New Orleans/Baton Rouge the weekend that cunt was getting married. Fucking bitch. My trip was incredible though and I can honestly say I was glad to have been kicked out, no matter how much it fucking hurts me; I'm so thankful it lead to me getting down to see my Aunt.

I read a lot this year. A fucking lot.

I cried a lot, I've been so caught up with a toxic relationship, I can never see straight. It's like the past three plus years I have been a complete mess but not the mess I used to be, I've become this mush mess where I got lost in everyone else's bullshit, also my own. Everyone and everything mushed together and I just couldn't determine between what was what.

I've been making slow changes the past 4 months so here's to a progressive uphill climb on my sanity.

I've dated, a lot one at a time and no one made it past date one or two. I never even saw anyone's houses, hot damn high five for me.

I've lost friendships over nothing, with no explanation. To them, like wedding cunt; the big.. you know. You win some, you lose some.. can't play to win every time and sometimes we strike out. Insert cliche here (haha). You can think or know in your head you were there through good and bad and believe you worked your all at something with someone, but all relationships don't work out and many fail. It happens I suppose, usually with failure comes an understanding but without an explanation there's just empty questions that go unanswered.

With that said aside from the hurt I carry, I've also gotten much closer to other friends and built stronger ties with the people who are in my life. Those who are deserving of my friendship.

Oh! I got the opportunity to go to LAS VEGAS! What a time.. what. a. time! How lucky am I? Two trips in one year, holy cow! Three for 2012? Alright!

This is quite the bullshit post, Happy 2012 kids, although I'm not one big on celebrating it all, I have to get used to writing 2012, pain. That's a first wild problem right there.

Ah, and all is right with the world.

Are you ready for an absolute scatter brain post? Can you follow? Are you sure…?

Please feel free to comment on this incredible topic.. it’s a definite debate that no one really talks about.

There has to be a curiosity in anybody’s day to day on what other people do.  Most people would argue something along the lines of, ‘I don’t care what other people do, it’s so annoying when they post this, that and the other thing on (social networking site or SNS).’  It’s true, at some point or another; anybody will say something to that affect.  Do they really mean it? Is the question.

SNS is EVERYWHERE.  I did a research study on this, an 100 pager in fact.  It was the best in the class and I take pride in that, me and my partner did a great job on it.  We found all sorts facts and tid-bits on what people do on a SNS.  It was fascinating and we even had given out surveys to participants who gave us real life answers.  It was extremely shocking to see some of the results.

So here I am, again pondering the usage of SNS.  There are so many new stories popping up in the news as well.  The Boston Globe today had an almost ridiculous and what I would say.. #ICantBelieveThisIsNews on the COVER (Seriously?) and the link is provided. 

The gist of what I didn’t even want to begin reading is that there are venues ready offer specialty seating to people that find the need to use their phones during a live performance.  I find that completely ridiculous and extremely distracting even so with specialty seating.  REDONKULUZ!

Now, let me just say that I am as #Twiticted as the next however there are many a times I find it inappropriate to even take out a phone in a public setting.  This doesn’t work for me.. not one bit.  No one is that important unless you’re a A List assistant, agent, politician, etc dealing with constant contact and bookings.  #ChildPlease

End (that) rant.

It brings up an interesting view that, we are really TOO connected with one another and people we don’t even know.  Technology is becoming terrifying and I’m honestly afraid to see where this all goes.

I know I’m really into Twitter.  I have two accounts for the main purpose of: this blog and a personal one.  I’ve had the personal one since Twitter first came around.. what was that 08? I never really used it much but somehow I’ve managed over 6k tweets.. I say a lot of useless, random and stupid shit on there.. I figure it this way that no one really actually sees it!  It’s private to non-followers and those who do follow me are people I know basically.. with the exception of a few local businesses.  I don’t have many followers for the reason that I don’t really want people to see what I say, what I do or where I go.

There is the public one, where it’s for this blog and random one-liners I come up with.  My thought is though, who really reads it? I’m going with almost nobody.  There are a few of my friends who I chat with on there when we have something witty to say to one another about what someone posted but other than that we also talk in real life so really, who is reading what I’m saying?

Surly the people that run Twitter but no random requests that people put into follow me, I decline them all and I’m really beginning to get annoyed with the Twitter spam that’s going on BTW.

End (that) rant.

With the point that ‘no one really cares what anybody else is doing’ but finds the need to continually check their SNS is in denial because not only are you skimming to see what friends are doing on say, Facebook but you’re also not realizing that you’re seeing what certain acquaintances are doing too and then there are those people that post every move of their life.  See, I view it as Facebook is a bad outlet to do that in but go to Twitter and no one really gives a sh*t. 

Ah, then all is right with the world.

Hidden

I hid my last post, personal reasons. I'll re post it again maybe in a regrettable post topic? Haha

I've been doing a lot of thinking and although I was crushed and still angry, I am pretty sure I'll be okay out of it all.

I'm stronger than I thought I was..?

Merry Christmas everyone.

I don't ask him* for nothing.

i say i’d rather be with you but you are not around.. so i’mma call somebody up and see if they be down, cause i hate sleeping alone.. half the time we don’t end up f-cking, i don’t ask him* for nothing, leave me in the morning, i don’t see ‘em for months but i just hate sleeping alone, so he’s* here and we’re both so throwed [drake]

I don't feel like you are a priority in my life.

Shit, I took a hiatus that is not good, my juices clearly have not been flowing but the kid is back.

What’s happening in the dating experiment you may wonder, why of course.. it’s fricken moving along just fine.

I saw, we’ll call him A2; three times.  He was nice and we got along quietly, he was just way too much too fast and it wasn’t even my fault (this time!). Bragging rights, me thinks so.  We talked to a week on the phone before meeting, we met up and had a loud dinner; I chose a loud place because whatever I wanted to eat there.  Then we had gone to a comedy show a few days later; that was funny.  We then hung out again, did some walking around and such; blah blah. 

He showed up at my job one night in that next week.  He was constantly texting me and questioning why I was being strange when in fact I wasn’t acting any different than I was prior until he started with the non-stop texting.  He required phone calls.  I was not feeling this after three dates.  I told him it wasn’t going to work out and he got upset and demanded I told him why. Um. No I do not owe an explanation so I said something along the lines of, I don’t feel like you are a priority in my life.  I also told him I can only ask him so many times to kindly stop contacting me.

Let’s take it backwards to the A1 (he was mentioned previously about rude comments). He began texting me out of the blue, now I had no idea who it was because I obviously didn’t save his number. I was trying to mess around with him because heck I didn’t know who he was (at the time) and when I kept asking who it was, he didn’t want to tell me.  Anyways, he got real weird.  He started asking me if, ‘I knew who I was talking to?’ Oh yeah? You think so huh?  Among a slew of other rude comments.. I’m going to try and upload that photo for this (I’ll probably forget by the time I publish).

Here we are brings us to F1; nice kid, seems pretty genuine and definitely has that “bad boy” thing going on for him.  I can’t speak to much on it yet because I just can’t.  It’s bizarre-o.. not sure what I am going to do.  I saw him.. 3 times and I’m questioning whether I’ll see him again.  I think I want to which could be a yes because it isn’t a no right now. 

There are a few other potential one time daters I may want to test drive before deciding on what to do about J1; that sounds so bad of me.  Which, it gets worse.. look for next post tomorrow.  Take a peek at “New” and imagine what I’m going to talk about.

New

New topics I'll be discussing as of this week;

Continued on with the dating experiment. I'm slacking on updating the findings.

Also, friends with benefits.

How much Christmas sucks to me.. can it be December 27th yet?

Stay tuned.