[OLD. Previously written early to mid February]
Did a pregnancy scare change my mind on having a kid of my own? I'm currently a week late. Semi freaking out. I'm not ready but I'm in denial and am thinking it will come.
It will. It has to.
I never thought I was invincible to pregnancy but in the last decade I've never been in this situation.
My stance on kids are simple. I'm not ready. I don't have a steady job, I'm back living with my parents, I am not in a relationship. I never saw myself having a child, I couldn't picture it but now.. this weird feeling is happening.
I always thought I'd get an abortion. I should. I can't raise a child when I can't take care of myself. If I had a career and able to pay my own rent, that would change the game. Or would it?
My mind is blank but I'm also spinning in circles.