As I lay in bed and contemplate the many events of the past year, I really can't help but want to say a big Fcuk You out loud.
You know because none really compare to anything too significant although at the time shit went down, they seemed a lot better or worse than it seemed at the time.
Or was it..? Let's recap.
Last January/February I got removed from what was at the time my best friends wedding. Removed, actually removed on Facebook was the actual, oh so.. I'm not in your wedding anymore I guess? That hit me hard and still burns a hole inside me, that fire is still lit and man would I just love to sock the shit out of that fucking bitch.
Okay, it was bad at the time but believe me when I say, overtime that hurt and pain gets deeper and deeper. See, I'm bitter.
Once again my on again off again relationship failed, I briefly dated a friends fiancée cousin, 3x fast and that was.. was done quick but a decent distraction.
I graduated school! Hooray. What a road that was.
I can't even recap shit right now.
I went away to New Orleans/Baton Rouge the weekend that cunt was getting married. Fucking bitch. My trip was incredible though and I can honestly say I was glad to have been kicked out, no matter how much it fucking hurts me; I'm so thankful it lead to me getting down to see my Aunt.
I read a lot this year. A fucking lot.
I cried a lot, I've been so caught up with a toxic relationship, I can never see straight. It's like the past three plus years I have been a complete mess but not the mess I used to be, I've become this mush mess where I got lost in everyone else's bullshit, also my own. Everyone and everything mushed together and I just couldn't determine between what was what.
I've been making slow changes the past 4 months so here's to a progressive uphill climb on my sanity.
I've dated, a lot one at a time and no one made it past date one or two. I never even saw anyone's houses, hot damn high five for me.
I've lost friendships over nothing, with no explanation. To them, like wedding cunt; the big.. you know. You win some, you lose some.. can't play to win every time and sometimes we strike out. Insert cliche here (haha). You can think or know in your head you were there through good and bad and believe you worked your all at something with someone, but all relationships don't work out and many fail. It happens I suppose, usually with failure comes an understanding but without an explanation there's just empty questions that go unanswered.
With that said aside from the hurt I carry, I've also gotten much closer to other friends and built stronger ties with the people who are in my life. Those who are deserving of my friendship.
Oh! I got the opportunity to go to LAS VEGAS! What a time.. what. a. time! How lucky am I? Two trips in one year, holy cow! Three for 2012? Alright!
This is quite the bullshit post, Happy 2012 kids, although I'm not one big on celebrating it all, I have to get used to writing 2012, pain. That's a first wild problem right there.