Tuesday, March 13, 2012

No matter how small the audience.

I've really been in a zone that I never really expected I’d be in again.  Destructive.  Not only on myself but others.  I allow a certain someone who has been in and out of my life for the past almost 4 years, take a hold of me and he just doesn’t let go.  I don’t allow him to either.  It’s not good.  I was doing alright for a while until I relapsed and now I’m stuck in a rut because we can be so great but then so terrible in a matter of minutes.  I allow him a control on me that I’ve never allowed myself to have with my own self.  How bad is that? Very.

2011 was a turning point year, a lot of things changed. I don’t think I need to continue into detail on everything that has happened but there were definite changes that occurred and the high majority of them were for the positive.

2012 is bringing mixed emotions.  I also do not feel at the moment I need to go into detail on it but for the most part I am happy, angry, extremely busy and tidbit worried about what’s in store for me.

A new friend of mine who is pretty much this mumble-jumble of brilliant words, he gets my mind thinking.  He suggested once that I speak about whatever to a group of people.  I am not a talker, I might be a typer and I have no problem speaking to crowds (see IMAX, 500+ capacity) but to talk about random stuff is completely different than opening myself up to a room full of people, no matter how small the audience. 

We’ll see.

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