I feel like singing this song right now by Mayday Parade - Three Cheers for Five Years
I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me, baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us - not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me, baby
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me, baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us - not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me, baby
One last purge of my dating woes..
And that is all. All is said and done.
NOW!
Change directions with me for a minute or seven, let's see where this goes.
Being on and off with a particular someone and now being completely independent has transformed my thought process about 100 degrees, I'm not yet at a full 180 but I'm almost there. Let me explain it in simple terms. I'm fine. I'm having fun. I'm almost.. ha..pp... I won't even say it.
Those that know me, know me well enough to know my emotions aren't completely stable. Most of the time, I'm not that great, never 'happy.' I mean, I'm great on the surface and I've master the art of the fake smile in public but behind closed doors, I'm usually an emotional wreck due to insecurities, people talking bad on me, pressure from family. This is where this shit is about to come into play. I decided I need to write a lot more. I have a lot to say and I just stopped because I don't really know why but I'm 'picking the pen up' so to speak. I am a little off, mostly on and always hold the best intentions for anything I do or say. On the other hand, if someone crosses me, there isn't a reset button.
The girl is speaking out.
I went out on a certain Friday night, started drinking heavily and got all dressed up in flare jeans and cream point-toe heels, yes this chick wore heels. SHOCKING. The adorable jeans I bought were just too long and I had to! I lasted the whole night, can you believe that?! It was an awesome feeling.
ANYWAYS
We pregamed at the apartment, took the bus to Union, drank with The Bartender, who hooked it up. Thank you! Then ran, yes ran in those heels a half mile to the bus stop to catch it to Magooun and proceeded to drink pitchers and random beverages.. I heard the next night that there were shots involved, this was news to me as was the slew of stories from that evening/early morning chronicled by a friend. Nothing terrible, nothing shameful and all hilarious. I endorsed it.. the new me's back to the old me snitches. I like it. Just the other day I found a nasty bruise, solid night.
This means, tomorrow should be super interesting as it is of course my 25th birthday.
I also want to speak on something near and dear to me, trash talking. It was brought to my attention via phone call this week that someone who I've never really spoken to before or hung out with personally was running their mouth about me. Shame on them, tragic actually. I forgive you, I do.. you don't know any better. As a side note, there is absolutely no reason to be a bully to anybody for no apparent reason. If there is a problem, speak to me directly not the minions in your life. Seeing as I've never had an actual friendship with this person, it saddens me. But such is life, and I'm over it and out.
Signing off because.... there's nothing to see here.
ooOooooh burn
xo
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